Why (doesn't) a child need to go to kindergarten

The discussion about whether or not to put children in nursery can be very challenging for both sides. However, these days it is not even necessary for a child to attend school, so crèche, children’s groups, and nursery are not compulsory. Most parents probably think children need nursery, but there is also a group of parents who see it the other way around and consider nursery more of a waste of time. If you are unsure, are not internally decided for or against, and need a little nudge, then keep reading. 

Why a child needs to go to nursery

Every child has a different nature and, at different ages, handles separation from parents better or worse; some need to be among other children, while others prefer to be alone or just observe others from a distance. Below you will find the most common arguments for why a child needs to go to nursery, and you can decide for yourself whether that is your path too. 

A group of peers

The main argument is that a child needs a group of children. Meeting children of the same age, learning to communicate with them, respect them, share toys, make agreements, make friends, and so on. They learn to respect the authority of teachers and to cope with separation from parents and other close family members.

Building immunity

Thanks to the group, the child comes into contact with various germs and thereby strengthens their immunity, which they will later need after starting school so they do not miss too many lessons.

They will go to school

If a child is going to attend school, then they need to have gone to nursery for at least the final year; otherwise they will not be admitted to school, which is a legal requirement.

The child develops

Children play and sing at nursery, which helps them learn faster and acquire new skills. They expand their vocabulary through songs, develop their gross motor skills (e.g. jumping on one leg, throwing a ball), also discover fine motor skills (e.g. doing puzzles or building blocks, cutting paper, working with modeling clay), and learn to manage self-care better - getting dressed, undressed, washing their hands, eating with cutlery without making a mess, going to the toilet, taking something out of their backpack, etc.

Routine

Regularity like at work - that is debatable, because a child may in the future start a business or work from home and manage their time themselves, not according to a fixed schedule set by an employer. Moreover, none of us know how people will work in 15-20 years. 

Some children like routine and, when everything is planned, they know what will happen and when; others need more freedom and to do things their own way - both are fine, and for both children a suitable nursery will surely be found, only for the second group it will probably not be the catchment one.

A parent returns to work

In this case, it is the parent’s need, not the child’s. Every child is different; some handle adapting to nursery with ease and practically push their parents away when they bring them there, while others cling to their parents like a leech and do not want to let them go, crying the whole time. It always depends on whether you have the option to delay starting nursery or need to go back to work, or whether you can have the child looked after by grandparents.

Why a child does not need to go to nursery

Since school attendance is no longer compulsory nowadays, more and more parents are also giving up nursery and keeping children at home as home-schoolers or unschoolers. So why not put a child in nursery?

Mom does not go to work

Mom is on maternity or parental leave with a younger sibling and does not see the point in putting her older child in nursery when she can be at home with them and teach them whatever they are interested in at the moment. 

The child does not want to go to nursery

It may happen that the child is not yet mature enough to be separated from their parents (some children simply need longer), or they do not understand why they should be in nursery when mom is at home with the younger sibling. It depends on whether the child is only talking about it and likes it once they are in nursery, or whether they cry a lot there, refuse to eat, and do not take part in activities. Likewise, the parent may not be ready to be separated from the child, and the child then senses their nervousness, which affects them a great deal. Only you know yourself and your child best and can judge how things stand. Honest communication and finding a suitable solution for everyone are important.

Nursery can hold a child back

If a child spends all day with their peers, they do not have the opportunity to develop at their own pace, because the other children simply cannot do much more than they can. They will react very strongly to various unpleasant situations such as taking and sharing toys, or another child crying or having a tantrum. Family members (meaning the older ones) can guide them through these situations and help explain what is happening and why. Teachers in nursery do not have much room for this, because there are simply many children there and it is not always possible to approach each child according to their individual needs.

The child adopts behavior patterns

Children in nursery come from families with different parenting styles, which can be wonderful on one hand, but let’s be honest: a child is more likely to copy some emotionally charged scene and then try it at home to see whether it works. As parents, we have absolutely no control over this, and only later can we talk about it with the child and try to find out what the real issue is. 

Nursery puts children into a mold

Nursery is basically an artificially created system that serves parents so they can return to work. There is nothing wrong with that, however it has clearly defined rules, which can hold many children back in their creative thinking, and they may then lose the ability to listen to themselves and their real needs. 

They do not need a nursery group

In essence, a child does not need the group that nursery offers; they learn everything from family, and thanks to that they develop faster and can find that social environment elsewhere. For example, various activities - swimming, dancing, painting, singing, different sports, or they can meet the children of friends who also do not go to nursery. There are many ways to meet, depending on each family’s possibilities.

The aim of this article is not to encourage you to believe that a child needs or, conversely, does not need to go to nursery. It only offers possible reasons for doing it one way or the other. It is great that we now have so many options, including when it comes to nurseries, because parents can choose between different types - private ones with a focus or without, community nurseries, forest nurseries, Montessori, and classic ones. The approaches in these nurseries also differ, so there is no need to settle for catchment nurseries; you can also look further from where you live. On the other hand, for any reason at all, you can completely cross nursery off the list of children’s activities, and that is only and solely your decision. 

If you decide on nursery, then it will be good if you prepare your child for starting nursery. If nursery is not an issue for your family, that is also perfectly fine. We wish you the best in deciding and as few unsolicited opinions as possible.