The Fourth Trimester, or the First Three Months After Birth

Immediately after giving birth comes the so-called postpartum period, which can be very emotionally intense and tearful for both mother and baby. The so-called fourth trimester is not talked about as much, however it is extremely important. So what is the fourth trimester, and why is it so demanding for us?

What is the fourth trimester?

Pregnancy is divided into 3 trimesters, each lasting about 3 months. Ideally, though, it would be best for the baby if it could “finish baking” for another 3 months in the belly, but then we would no longer be able to give birth to it. So the baby is born after 9 months, and the following so-called 4th trimester is baked on us. 

• The baby discovers our world.
• We are getting used to the baby together - both mom and dad, and possibly siblings too.
• The baby needs contact, which it had while it was in the belly. Ideally, you should carry the baby in a wrap from birth, which also provides the rocking it is used to and that soothes it.
• The baby needs food whenever it wants it, just as it did in the belly, so feeding on demand is the best choice.
• In the belly, the baby was used to various sounds/noises of our organs, so if you give it these after birth, it will certainly be calmer. 
• The baby may be overstimulated from the whole day, so in the evening it often cries to, so to speak, let off steam. Some call it colic, but many mothers know that it is just emotions that need to come out, and it is very exhausting night after night.

The fourth trimester is therefore the first three months after birth, which can be very demanding; however, if you give the baby what it needs and, so to speak, “finish baking” it, then everything will turn for the better and you will enjoy the following months together.

When the fourth trimester is demanding

If you are exhausted, ask for help and do not take it as your failure. In the past, people lived in communities and helped one another with any work, including child care. Put yourself first, because if you do not have the energy to keep going, then caring for your baby will be very difficult. Communicate this with your partner and your closest circle. 

Do not beat yourself up because your child is constantly crying; you are not a bad mother. You can try to observe what is behind the daily crying, but you will probably not figure it out, and you will feel most relieved when you accept your child’s crying. If you know the baby is crying because of a tummy ache, then you can try the elimination communication method, which helps with better bowel movements, or you can try a tummy massage before each feeding. 

If you are unable to breastfeed, seek a lactation consultant as soon as possible, who will show you how to latch the baby properly and which position will be best for both of you. And if the child needs temporary supplementation, she will show you how to do it so that you do not ruin breastfeeding and hang it up within a few days or weeks. 

Many new mothers struggle with lack of sleep, whether because they are nervous that the baby monitor might go off, because the baby keeps waking and crying, or because it wakes up the moment you put it back in the crib. In this case, co-sleeping can help you, a very simple and effective method that is natural for many people in Asia, Africa, and South America. If the baby wakes up when put down even during the day, then the simplest thing you can do is not put it down anywhere. You can either let it sleep on your chest while you read a book, or you can tie it into a wrap and do ordinary household tasks while doing so. 

Do not try to be perfect and run at one hundred percent. Motherhood teaches us a great deal, not only how to care for our child, but also how to process our own traumas, beliefs, and discomforts. Even if those around you will probably tell you to do things this way or that way (e.g. give him a pacifier, let him cry it out, don’t carry him all the time, etc.), trust your instinct, because that is the only way you and your baby will truly feel best.