Overnight babysitting

Article author: Iveta Bartošová

Looking after children overnight may not be as easy as it may seem at first glance. Even if the child is used to the caregiver during the day, overnight it can be much more complicated. Some children are extroverted and like spending time with anyone who shows interest in them. On the other hand, there are children who need to get used to everything and take longer before they even try something new and before they begin to trust someone else. So how do you prepare yourself, the child, and the caregiver (for example, grandma) for the first overnight stay?

When to start letting a child stay overnight

There is no universal answer to the question of when it is best to let your child be looked after overnight. It is very individual, and it depends on how each family feels about it and what their needs are.

• Non-breastfed child - this can already be done with a few-month-old baby, if both the mother and grandma agree.
• Breastfed child - it is better to try overnight care only once you stop breastfeeding, because many children breastfeed at night, which could be a major complication for everyone.
• During the period of separation anxiety, it is better to postpone the stay.
• Toddlers - if the toddler is no longer breastfed (from 1 year and up), overnight care may be easier in terms of feeding, however in terms of being away from mom it may be much harder (greater attachment to mom, the child is much more aware of everything).
• When the child says so themselves - the ideal option is when all parties agree to the overnight stay, meaning the child, the parents, and grandma. Some children more or less don’t care when they first sleep over at grandma’s, while others only mature into it later, perhaps around age 4. So if you do not absolutely need someone other than dad to look after the child, don’t pressure them.

Preparing for the stay

Before the first overnight stay, it is good to prepare the environment, pack the necessary things, and communicate with everyone about what will happen.

• Prepare the child well in advance - talk about what will happen, what they can look forward to, and when you will see each other again.
• Prepare grandma for the child’s routine - approximate times and sequence of events - dinner, brushing teeth, bathing, reading a bedtime story, teddy in bed, etc.
• Sleeping together - if the child is used to sleeping in bed with the parents, it will be easier for them if they can snuggle up to grandma at night too.
• Pack their favorite toy.
• Spend time with grandma during the day as well, so the child gets used to her.
• Don’t forget to say goodbye to the child and tell them when you will be back (for example after breakfast, after lunch, right in the morning after sleeping).
• Choosing the place - for the first overnight stay, it may be easier for the child if it happens at their home, so it is not such a big change. At the same time, the home environment is adapted for the child, so you do not have to worry about where to hide things so the child does not accidentally break them or hurt themselves.

Mom also needs to be prepared for babysitting

Every mother needs to recharge, both physically and mentally, meaning doing what she enjoys and what she enjoyed even before she had children. And it does not matter whether that means going away for a weekend with friends to a wellness retreat, attending yoga or the gym regularly, or returning to sewing clothes. For extroverted moms, having their child looked after overnight can be essential for meeting their own needs. Introverted moms need to work through their fears of possible complications and let go of the idea that the child won’t manage it. It is simply individual, and not every mother wants to be away from her child for a longer period, even if the child is no longer a baby.

Children naturally start distancing themselves from their parents when they are fully filled with contact with their parents and feel safe. This may mean that the mother devotes the first three years fully to her child (without much babysitting), from which she benefits in the following years. So do not pressure yourself just because among your friends you feel like an odd one out who does not want to let grandma have their one-year-old or even three-year-old child overnight. At the same time, think about the child, because if it would mean a night of crying for them, then it is simply too soon for an overnight separation. 

In short

You can leave your child overnight for babysitting whenever you want. What matters is that both the child and the caregiver (for example, grandma) are prepared for it. Babysitting non-breastfed children may be easier in terms of giving formula. It is better to let breastfed children stay overnight only after night breastfeeding has ended; daytime breastfeeding can remain. Preparation before the first overnight stay is important and should not be skipped, so that the child knows what will happen and grandma knows the child’s bedtime routine. Definitely do not forget to pack the child’s favorite toy and say a proper goodbye. If needed, ask grandma whether she could babysit at your home so it is easier for you. Definitely do not pressure yourself or your child; there will come a time when the child will want to sleep over at everyone in your family and you will feel sad that the child no longer needs you as much. Above all, do not compare yourself with other mothers; everyone has their own time.

How did your child’s first sleepover at grandma’s go? When did you first decide to do it and why?