How to wean a toddler off breastfeeding

The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least until a child is two years old. So when we talk about weaning a child from breastfeeding, the earliest is around a year and a half, more often two years and beyond. In some cases, there is no need to fully wean a toddler; partial weaning is enough and breastfeeding can continue. What questions should a woman ask herself before she starts weaning? And once she has decided to wean, how should she do it so that it is not stressful for either side?

Why do I want to wean?

For a child, it is ideal to breastfeed until self-weaning, but not all mothers have the energy for that. Before a woman starts weaning her child, she should ask herself why she actually wants to wean. What is leading her to it, and whether partial weaning would be enough. Mothers often do not realize that partial weaning is possible and, in the end, is better for the child than complete weaning.

Partial weaning

If a woman finally wants to sleep through the night or in longer stretches, it is possible to wean only from night breastfeeding. She may feel uncomfortable breastfeeding outside or in public, and that breastfeeding can also be eliminated. The mother can gradually move to breastfeeding only at home and then to breastfeeding only to fall asleep and after waking. Even in situations where the mother needs to be away for a few days, whether for work or for health reasons, breastfeeding can still be maintained. In neither case is complete weaning necessary.

Possible reasons for weaning and how to solve them

• comments from people around her or family saying the woman has been breastfeeding for too long and the child is too old for it (breastfeeding is a matter between mother and child, so the woman can breastfeed only at home and tell no one about it)
• lack of sleep (it is possible to wean only from night breastfeeding)
• a weekend or even a whole week away from the child (this is not a reason for weaning; breastfeeding can continue after returning)
• planning another pregnancy and therefore the absence of a menstrual cycle (the body is probably not ready for another child yet, so it is better to wait or gradually wean over the course of months)
• falling asleep only by breastfeeding (gradually change the bedtime routine, look for new associations at bedtime - reading a book, singing, stroking the back, holding hands, audiobooks, a carrier)
• tiredness from frequent breastfeeding during the day, or the child pulling at the mother's neckline (this can be solved by communicating with the child and partial weaning)
• etc.

Why breastfeeding is great for both mom and toddler

When a woman answers the question of why she wants to stop breastfeeding, it is good if she also writes down why breastfeeding is great for both her and her toddler. She will realize that she will have to replace all of these situations in another way. For example:

• the child calms down quickly
• the child falls asleep quickly, especially at night
• if the child does not eat much solid food, then at least they get a quality intake from breast milk
• these are beautiful and unique moments spent with the child/with the mother
• a feeling of security and love, full attention
• helps with teething pain, fever, and any discomfort
• etc.

How to wean in practice

Whether a woman wants to wean her child completely or only partially, in both cases she must be firmly decided that she wants to make this change. If she is not decided and convinced, her child will sense it and it will not go as easily. She then sets rules for how she will start weaning. The ideal for both sides is gradual weaning. The woman therefore stops breastfeeding on the child’s request and breastfeeds according to her set rules. It is necessary to set clear rules that the toddler will understand and to communicate everything with them. Explain why it will be different now, share your emotions (I understand that it annoys you, but I can’t do it anymore, it’s uncomfortable for me now), ask the child for help, and suggest another solution (e.g. we’ll have a drink, we’ll have a snack, I’ll hold you, I’ll stroke your back).

Examples of rules

• We do not breastfeed outside; we breastfeed only indoors or only at home.
• We breastfeed only to fall asleep and after waking.
• Don’t pull up my T-shirt; wait until I give you the breast myself.
• We breastfeed only in the light; when it is dark outside, we don’t anymore.

It is very important to persevere, because if the mother does not breastfeed one day in the same situation and does breastfeed the next, it is very confusing for the child and the desired result cannot be expected. Breaking the rules is possible if the child is ill. Once they recover, breastfeeding follows the rules again. Everything needs to be communicated with the child, over and over, so they understand that you really mean it.

At first, the child will most likely protest and disagree with your rules. That is why it is ideal to wean gradually so that it is not so demanding for the child. The whole weaning process can then take several months. However, it is very gentle and more pleasant for both sides than weaning from one day to the next.

If the woman is at the end of her strength and decides on rapid weaning, that is also fine, and it is necessary to talk about it with the child so they can feel her energy and understand that it is not just some whim, but that for the mother to continue caring for them, breastfeeding needs to end.

Whether you decide on complete or only partial weaning, always act according to your intuition. If you feel that a change is needed, make it. We are keeping our fingers crossed.