Depression in motherhood and where to turn for help

It is said that motherhood is the most beautiful period in a woman's life, especially early motherhood. However, the opposite is true, because for most new mothers it is a huge step out of their comfort zone and a massive cocktail of hormones that greatly affects both caring for the child and the mother's perception of herself as a woman, partner, mother, and daughter. Depression during motherhood can appear at any time; one in five mothers even suffers from postpartum depression. What is depression really, how does it manifest itself, and why is it good to seek help?

Depression in motherhood

Depression can appear at any time in a mother. It may already occur during pregnancy (for example, fear for the baby after a previous loss, after a miscarriage, fear that a healthy child will not be born), after birth (postpartum depression), or later, when the child is older and perhaps already goes to school (for example, depression from routine - school, work, clubs, homework, little time for herself).

We should talk about depression with a partner, a friend, parents, and ask for help before it has a very negative impact on caring for the children and the whole household, including the mother.

If a mother suffered from depression even before pregnancy, it can become even more deepened in motherhood and cause greater trouble.

There is no cure for depression; what is needed above all is time and strong support from those around her.

A few days after giving birth, a mother may experience postpartum blues. It is, let’s say, a milder form of discomfort that almost every mother experiences after childbirth. These are the days when she is more tearful, very tired, may have trouble sleeping, her mood changes constantly, everything suddenly feels different, and it is not easy to adapt to the new role of mother.

A deeper manifestation is postpartum depression (and even postpartum/lactation psychosis). Triggers can include a difficult and long labor, a cesarean section (the mother feels like a failure because she was unable to give birth vaginally), difficulties breastfeeding, and so on. It is good when depression is diagnosed in time so that deeper problems do not arise. A woman may feel helplessness, inferiority, anxiety, panic attacks, thoughts of death of herself or her child, think that the child is not hers, have mood swings, and in psychosis even hallucinations. Postpartum depression affects one in five women after birth and can worsen, for example, due to lack of understanding from doctors in the maternity ward (the feeling that the woman failed as a mother, that she cannot manage to breastfeed her child), or misunderstanding in the family (being labeled a hypochondriac or lazy, unable to care for the household and the child). It is not uncommon for fathers to also suffer from postpartum depression after the birth of their child.

Support and self-care are very important

Who to turn to

So that a woman does not get into serious trouble and does not want to take her own life or possibly the life of her baby, it is very important that she talks about her problems. She can turn to her family or friends, or to a postpartum doula, lactation consultant, or community midwife. These people will not cure depression, of course, but the mother can confide in them, talk things through, and they can then direct her to which experts to contact. 

• Organization Smile of Mom - helps already during pregnancy and subsequently after birth with postpartum depression, anxiety, and psychosis.
• Today it is possible to have a screening done that reveals the likelihood that a woman will develop postpartum depression or not.
• Project Perinatal - similarly to the organization Smile of Mom, it helps women in motherhood with their anxiety and depression.

How to care for yourself

A woman should above all not forget about herself and should put herself first before everyone else, because when mom is happy, it reflects on everything else too. What can a woman do for herself:

• not be alone in everything and talk about what is weighing on her - let someone help with the children (drive/carry them so that mom can rest, catch up on sleep after a sleepless night), help with the household (cook, clean);
• make time for herself - go for coffee with a friend, to the cinema with her husband, go for a walk, take a trip, go to the hairdresser;
• go to women's circles - great support for women in motherhood;
• social isolation tends to deepen depression, so it is good to go for a chat with someone, enroll the child in some course, e.g. baby bathing, baby swimming, exercise with babies, or enroll herself in a course where children can also be present (dancing with slings, gym or circuit training with children or with childcare available);
• not compare herself with other mothers, especially not believe everything on social networks, because reality is often completely different and not everything is as sunny as it seems;
• process childbirth trauma, if any has arisen;
• go for quantum therapy or craniosacral therapy - they help remove blockages in both body and soul;
• try to recharge your batteries even with small things - being in the sun, good food, listening to music, handicrafts, sports, a trip, a cold shower, etc.

Motherhood brings beautiful moments but also demanding days, so be kind to yourself and allow yourself help from others. And if they are not offering it, ask for it. Often others do not want to impose and are waiting for you to ask them for help yourself. 

Love yourselves, take care of yourselves, and value yourselves, because a happy mother means a happy family.