Children’s independence - sleeping without mom in their own room

Article author: Iveta Bartošová

The time when a child is ready to move into their own room is very individual; it depends on the child and their parents. In one family, they would never give up shared sleep in one bed for many years, while in another the parents value their peace and even a crib next to the double bed is the most they can manage. Often, parents are pressured into the move by other family members because that’s how it used to be done, so today the child should become independent at an early age too. However, these days we already know that there is no need to rush a child’s independence. So how and when should you do it when you need to move your child into their own room?

The child sleeps through the night

As soon as your child starts sleeping through the night, you can try putting them to sleep in their room. At first, they may start waking at night because they will suddenly be in a different environment than the one they are used to sleeping in, but after a few nights it should settle down. If the child cannot manage to sleep in their room, then they are probably not ready yet and it would be best to postpone the move.

You wake each other up

If you and your child wake each other up during the night, even just by turning over in bed, then you can try the move. It may be that a little more peace will benefit everyone and the night wakings will disappear completely.

An older sibling sleeps in the room

If one of your children is already sleeping in the children’s room, you can let the younger one sleep there too at night. It usually works because the younger child is not alone in the room and does not tend to wake up as much.

The child wants to sleep in their own room

The easiest option is when the child themselves says they want to sleep in their room. However, we won’t see that during infancy or toddlerhood, and for many children not even once they are already going to preschool. If the child is unsure, you can try sleeping there with them for a few nights, perhaps on a mattress next to the bed, and see how they like it there.

Only for daytime naps

If you have already tried the move and your child cannot manage sleeping alone at night without you nearby, then you can try sleeping in the room for daytime naps, if they still nap during the day. If they no longer nap, you can try spending as much time as possible in the room during the day. Play there, read books, draw, get dressed, brush teeth there, invite friends over so the child gains a sense of safety in this room too.

In short

Moving a child into a children’s room for nighttime sleep can be a challenging task, but many children will surprise you and sleep better from the very first night. You can try the move when your child can already sleep through the night, or when you wake each other at night and some separation would help. Also, if an older child is sleeping in the room, you can move the younger one there too. Alternatively, you can try sleeping in the room only for daytime naps so the child gets used to it during the day and feels safe there at night too. The ideal option is when the child themselves says they want to sleep in their own room, which may take longer than many parents need.

How do you handle moving your child? Are you still gathering up the courage, or have you already done it?